A few years back, around 2018-ish, I was on a regular basket shopping jaunt around our local ‘out of town’ supermarket, which is, fortunately or unfortunately, on my doorstep. As I sauntered around the miserabilism, probably moaning and probably audibly, about empty shelves, stuff not being where it should be, queues or some other supermarket related grievance, I bumped into three old mates. The next generation up from me, in their seventies, ten to fifteen years ahead. From one end of an aisle, I spotted them at the other and made a bee-line.
“Is this the Miserable Old Bastards committee meeting?”, I interrupted before being welcomed into their triangle, which I found slightly offensive.They were discussing aches, ailments, pills, appointments and all the usual shit old people chat. I mentioned I’d got a touch of arthritis in my toes and how uncomfortable it was. Oh, how they laughed contemptuously, as if I was a child, pure and innocent of anything beyond the end of my nose. I also found that moderately offensive and rather condescending too. The conversation was light-hearted throughout, even though the subject wasn’t really funny. I often recall that meeting, and have encountered others in which the sum and substance are also tales of getting old.
Getting old began for me in my late fifties. Minor, just annoying issues initially. Occasional shoots of pain through toes or an unexpected ache in muscles or bones. Puffing and panting after a brief sesh of activity progressed to getting to the toilet very suddenly. It’s shit. Everywhere sometimes. The missus often bollocks me.
Into my sixties I’ve had a heart attack, a hernia op, arthritis in my left arm and been diagnosed with macular degeneration, cataracts and pre-diabetes. It’s shyte. Even my brain has health issues. I forget names seconds after I’ve been told them and struggle remembering names of folk I’ve known for years. I hope I’m not demented, which knowing my luck and dementia running in the family via my Mum, I probably am. FML! I laugh about it though, as do most of my friends and folk who are situated in the realms of senior citizenship. We all see the funny side of getting old, but it’s certainly not fun participating.
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